For those people who have more Biblical knowledge than skills in attracting the opposite sex, these funny Christian pick up lines should help you break the ice and maybe get a side-hug at your Bible study, youth group, or Christian college campus. For more ecards with funny, corny, and cheesy Christian Pick Up Lines for [...]
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The Best Funny Christian Pick Up Lines
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The Beards of Ministry: A Field Guide for Pastoral Facial Hair
As a fan of facial hair myself, I could not help but love and want to share this awesome infographic put out by the Leadership Journal. If you love comical stereotyping and church history (and I do on both counts), this infographic is for you! If you love bearded Christian leaders, check out a couple [...]
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Obscure Bible Character or Character from Lord of the Rings?
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien has sold over 150 million books and grossed over $2.92 billion at the box office.[1][2] The Bible is in print in an estimated 6 billion copies and has had hundreds of movies made based on it and its stories and events. [1][2] In addition to [...]
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Some Humor for a Happy Reformation Day…
October 31, 1517 marks a very special day in church history: Martin Luther nailed his 95 Thesis against the Catholic church against the door of the church in Wittenburg, Germany, starting the Protestant Reformation characterized by a return to the Scriptures and a belief that one is justified before God by grace alone, through faith alone, in Jesus Christ alone, and for the glory of God alone.
Almost 500 years later we celebrate the work of the courageous reformers and their proclamation of the pure Gospel of Jesus Christ as found in the Scriptures.
What is the best way to celebrate Reformation Day? Thank God by meditating on His sovereign work throughout history, the glorious truths of the Gospel and His gracious revelation of Himself in the Scriptures.
What is another funny way to celebrate? By making hilarious Martin Luther memes and posting them on social media.
Here are some great Martin Luther memes for Reformation Day along with the best of social media:
Read More
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A Comparison: How Different Christian Denominations See Each Other
The answer to the question “Are you a Christian?” is not as helpful as an answer would have been in the first century. There are Catholics, Protestants, Evangelicals, and Charismatics; and each approach God and faith in a different way.
Due to apparent theological differences, caricatures and stereotypes can be made–and enjoyed! The graphic shared below does a great job showing how Catholics, Mainline Liberals, Reformed Christians, Evangelicals, and Catholics stereotype each other.
Comparison of How Different Christian Denominations See Each Other
[HT]
What part of the graphic do you think is the funniest?
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Awkward Christian Humor: A 1980′s Devotional for Teenagers that Will Make You LOL
Oh the things you find when you clean out your garage… I recently came across a book for Christian teenagers with a hilariously awkward cover and title. It’s like Awkward Family Photos–meets teenage awkwardness–meets church youth group. That trifecta of awkwardness is a level not usually experienced on this blog (usually). Finding this thing first made […]
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Brother Franklin Dancing at Church During Offering Time (Video)
God loves a cheerful giver. That means He really must love Brother Franklin, whose YouTube videos below have been viewed over a million times. Enjoy Brother Franklin dancing at church during offering time.
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15 of the Funniest Christian Parody Twitter Accounts to Follow
140 characters is a terrible place for theological arguments—but an amazing place for humor. I often find myself laughing out loud (or trying to hide it) on Twitter when reading jokes, looking at memes, or seeing a chart that can vividly describe reality without words. Below is a list of my 15 favorite funny Christian accounts to […]
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I have discovered the Sixth Love Language!
Stop the presses. Sound the trumpets. Call Dr. Gary Chapman (or at least tweet him). Pause Netflix. I have discovered the Sixth Love Language! — Let me start off by saying it’s not what you’re thinking. It has nothing to do with frisbees, a new Apple device, or even funny cat videos (although, that might be […]
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The Best Funny Christian Pick Up Lines
For those people who have more Biblical knowledge than skills in attracting the opposite sex, these funny Christian pick up lines should help you break the ice and maybe get a side-hug at your Bible study, youth group, or Christian college campus.
#ChristianPickupLines pic.twitter.com/IjL5PxyY
— Kevin Halloran (@kp_halloran) December 22, 2012
Which is your favorite? Which ones did I miss? Leave a comment!
Subscribe to my blog on the top right of this page for Christian humor, biblical encouragement, resources, book recommendations, and more.
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The Beards of Ministry: A Field Guide for Pastoral Facial Hair
As a fan of facial hair myself, I could not help but love and want to share this awesome infographic put out by the Leadership Journal.
If you love comical stereotyping and church history (and I do on both counts), this infographic is for you!
If you love bearded Christian leaders, check out a couple of recent blog posts of mine on D.L. Moody:
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Obscure Bible Character or Character from Lord of the Rings?
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien has sold over 150 million books and grossed over $2.92 billion at the box office.[1][2] The Bible is in print in an estimated 6 billion copies and has had hundreds of movies made based on it and its stories and events. [1][2]
In addition to being popular books and movies, the Bible and Lord of the Rings Trilogy boast another striking similarity:
Their characters have some crazy sounding names.
So in honor of the Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, I thought I would throw together a quick quiz testing your knowledge of both the Bible and Middle Earth. (The answers are provided if you scroll to the bottom)
Take the Quiz: Obscure Bible Characters or Lord of the Rings Character?
1. Gamaliel
2. Galadriel
3. Nimrod
4. Boromir
5. Eowyn
6. Phineas
7. Jethro
8. Sisera
9. Sauron
10. Witch of Endor
11. Bilbo
12. Gimli
13. Halbarad
14. Shamgar
15. Absalom
Answers:
Bible: 1 (from Acts 5:34), 3 (Genesis 10), 6 (Numbers 25:7), 7 (Exodus 3), 8 (Judges 4), 10 (1 Samuel 28), 14 (Judges 3:31-), 15 (1 Samuel 13
Lord of the Rings: 2, 4, 5, 9, 11, 12, 13
How did you do?
If you guessed 0 right, you’re doing pretty awesome, and yes I mean that. With a 50-50 chance of getting each question right, this means you either: (1) Knew the right answers and chose the wrong ones to stick it to the man, or (2) have incredibly bad luck, in which case I feel sorry for you.
If you guessed 1-6 right, you have worse luck than most, and do not know either the minor characters of the Bible or Lord of the Rings story very well.
If you guessed 7-11 right, you’re above average and ready to be a part of the dwarf army selected to kill Smaug (hopefully not this guy).
If you guessed 12-15 right, you’re basically the coolest thing since second breakfast’s sliced bread. Frodo wants you on his team because you are a well-known kicker of orc butt, and Gandalf would probably have you over to smoke one of those really long pipe thingys.
How did you do? Share in a comment!
Subscribe to my blog on the top right of this page for Christian humor, biblical encouragement, resources, book recommendations, and more.
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Humor for a Happy Reformation Day…
October 31, 1517 marks a very special day in church history: Martin Luther nailed his 95 Thesis against the Catholic church against the door of the church in Wittenburg, Germany, starting the Protestant Reformation characterized by a return to the Scriptures and a belief that one is justified before God by grace alone, through faith alone, in Jesus Christ alone, and for the glory of God alone.
Almost 500 years later we celebrate the work of the courageous reformers and their proclamation of the pure Gospel of Jesus Christ as found in the Scriptures.
What is the best way to celebrate Reformation Day? Thank God by meditating on His sovereign work throughout history, the glorious truths of the Gospel and His gracious revelation of Himself in the Scriptures.
What is another funny way to celebrate? By making hilarious Martin Luther memes and posting them on social media.
Here are some great Martin Luther memes for Reformation Day along with the best of social media:
“@samuelknecht: Happy Reformation Day, everybody! #partylikeits1517” pic.twitter.com/b3WtcHIWz3
— Josh Pankey (@JoshPankey) October 31, 2013
Happy Reformation Day! pic.twitter.com/UZHTuJqUvy
— Marc A. Stutzel (@stynxno) October 31, 2013
.@WardrobeDoor with another great Reformation Day Poster. pic.twitter.com/8PtZgtOnai
— Ray Raley (@rayraley) October 31, 2013
Happy Reformation Day! Keep on reforming! Soli Deo Gloria! pic.twitter.com/Yv6P8MHYge
— I Am That I'm Not (@DavidBeersdorf) October 31, 2013
Fun #pumpkincarving of #MartinLuther on this #ReformationDay from @Reformation21 #reformation #protestant #grace pic.twitter.com/BY0CPHnHTQ
— Bible Gateway (@biblegateway) October 31, 2013
Bonus Resource: Meghan Carver shares some tips and activities for a great Reformation Day Party…
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A Comparison: How Different Christian Denominations See Each Other
The answer to the question “Are you a Christian?” is not as helpful as an answer would have been in the first century. There are Catholics, Protestants, Evangelicals, and Charismatics; and each approach God and faith in a different way.
Due to apparent theological differences, caricatures and stereotypes can be made–and enjoyed! The graphic shared below does a great job showing how Catholics, Mainline Liberals, Reformed Christians, Evangelicals, and Catholics stereotype each other.
Comparison of How Different Christian Denominations See Each Other
[HT]
What part of the graphic do you think is the funniest?
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Awkward Christian Humor: A 1980’s Devotional for Teenagers that Will Make You LOL
Oh the things you find when you clean out your garage…
I recently came across a book for Christian teenagers with a hilariously awkward cover and title. It’s like Awkward Family Photos–meets teenage awkwardness–meets church youth group. That trifecta of awkwardness is a level not usually experienced on this blog (usually).
Finding this thing first made me LOL. But then after reading the back and flipping through it, it seems to address many questions Christian teens deal with, like “Where is God during teenage awkwardness?!”
Update: Apparently this book has had multiple printings and has sold over 700,000 copies according to the Amazon listing: If God Loves Me, Why Can’t I Get My Locker Open? Who knew!
**For a great Daily Devotional with a Bible reading plan and discussion questions, I highly recommend Unlocking the Bible’s LifeKEYS Daily Devotional. It unpacks biblical truth each day and is deep yet accessible, making it perfect for teenagers and adults. Click here to get a free sample.**
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Brother Franklin Dancing at Church During Offering Time (Video)
God loves a cheerful giver. That means He really must love Brother Franklin, whose YouTube videos below have been viewed over a million times. Enjoy Brother Franklin dancing at church during offering time.
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15 of the Funniest Christian Parody Twitter Accounts to Follow
140 characters is a terrible place for theological arguments—but an amazing place for humor. I often find myself laughing out loud (or trying to hide it) on Twitter when reading jokes, looking at memes, or seeing a chart that can vividly describe reality without words.
Below is a list of my 15 favorite funny Christian accounts to follow on Twitter and some of their best tweets. Chances are you’ve seen a few retweets from these accounts. If you have any to add, share a link and a sample tweet in the comments section.
Enjoy!
15 of the Funniest Christian Parody Twitter Accounts to Follow
Click To Tweet
1. Church Curmudgeon (@ChrchCurmudgeon)
Catholics have more children; Protestants have more sects.
— Church Curmudgeon (@ChrchCurmudgeon) June 15, 2015
I'm just like Moses.
I get angry when I show up and find people serving de caf.
— Church Curmudgeon (@ChrchCurmudgeon) July 20, 2015
If the feeding of the five thousand had been at the end of the book of Acts, it could have been done with bacon.
— Church Curmudgeon (@ChrchCurmudgeon) July 11, 2015
2. Legalist Lloyd (@LloydLegalist)
God puts some people in our lives to help us reach certain milestones and others to help give us certain kidney stones.
— Lloyd Legalist (@LloydLegalist) July 18, 2015
One benefit of following me on Twitter is the ongoing reminder that, even during your darkest days, someone cares.
Not me, but someone.
— Lloyd Legalist (@LloydLegalist) July 15, 2015
We are awesome! pic.twitter.com/WsK3tWHMCB
— Lloyd Legalist (@LloydLegalist) July 8, 2015
3. Fake John Piper (@FakeJohnPiper)
Gonna need each of you to sow one small seed so I can rent a car to drive down and smack Creflo Dollar.
— fakejohnpiper (@fakejohnpiper) March 17, 2015
Chris Tomlin really puts me in the mood. I listen and I'm like "Awww, yeah. That's some disciple-making music right there."
— fakejohnpiper (@fakejohnpiper) July 22, 2013
JOURNAL ENTRY: Not being a pastor is tough. Extreme urge to start seashell collection. Must fight for joy.
— fakejohnpiper (@fakejohnpiper) June 3, 2015
Note: This account doesn’t appear to be as active as it once was.
(I’ll unmask the mastermind behind FJP: Jared Wilson. In case these three sample tweets don’t scratch your FJP itch, you might enjoy this.)
4. Hip Hop Augustine (@HipHopAugustine)
we the clay
He the potter
we the kids
He the Father
we thirst
He the water
hunger
He the fodder
He the finisher, starter
hope of the martyr— Augustine of Hiphop (@hiphopaugustine) May 26, 2015
put ya pride to the side
if you wanna abide
in the arms open wide:
Christ crucified— Augustine of Hiphop (@hiphopaugustine) July 8, 2015
death was like a prison
till the Lord had risen
the grave said No Exit
till the Lord resurrexit— Augustine of Hiphop (@hiphopaugustine) April 5, 2015
5. Bitter Blue Betty (@BitterBlueBetty)
Life Hint: Any conversation that starts with "I took this test on Facebook…" is not going to end well…
— BitterBlueBetty (@BitterBlueBetty) June 25, 2015
When you say "God is pruning you" to someone my age, it means something quite different, but with the same general effect.
— BitterBlueBetty (@BitterBlueBetty) June 1, 2015
Once had a friend named Joyce who died and her husband found a second wife named Joyce… He rejoiced. . .
— BitterBlueBetty (@BitterBlueBetty) April 9, 2015
6. Fake J.D. Greear (@FakeJDGreear)
It's firegrace, not fireworks.
— Fake J.D. Greear (@FakeJDGreear) July 5, 2015
"STOP POSTING YOUR STUPID OPINIONS ON FACEBOOK!!!" – people with stupid opinions on Facebook
— Fake J.D. Greear (@FakeJDGreear) June 30, 2015
I agree that your "Church Discipline Cheer" is catchy, but "2-4-6-8, who can we excommunicate?" sort of misses the point.
— Fake J.D. Greear (@FakeJDGreear) June 29, 2015
7. Christian Hipster (@ChristnHipster)
"how was the date?"
"not good"
"how so?"
"i thought she was a proverbs 31 woman, turns out she's a proverbs 7 woman"
"close one"— Christian Hipster (@ChristnHipster) June 27, 2015
hey christian girl, i couldn't help but notice your heart is like the 10/40 window…unreached
— Christian Hipster (@ChristnHipster) July 21, 2015
earlier this summer i planted tomatoes and jalepenos but so far only weeds are growing, thanks adam
— Christian Hipster (@ChristnHipster) July 18, 2015
8. Celebrity Pastor (@CelebrityPastor)
You haven't done Easter until you've fired peeps at 120mph into your congregation.
— Celebrity Pastor (@CelebrityPastor) April 5, 2015
This is how I do baby dedications. #CircleOfLife pic.twitter.com/3QNrPZRQGW
— Celebrity Pastor (@CelebrityPastor) February 24, 2015
Just got the word "playa" tattooed on my neck. In Hebrew.
— Celebrity Pastor (@CelebrityPastor) June 17, 2014
9. Relevant Church Guy (@MrChurchGuy)
Public Service Announcement for Teenagers Going to Camp:
Cologne, Perfume, and Deodorant are not proper substitutes for a shower with soap.
— Church Guy (@MrChurchGuy) June 22, 2015
Keep the worship leader humble.
Make sure he leads songs for VBS.
— Church Guy (@MrChurchGuy) July 2, 2015
If Revelation was written now, the church names would be like: CrossPointe, Journey, Grace, Revolution, Discovery, 3Sixteen, and Celebration
— Church Guy (@MrChurchGuy) May 20, 2015
10. Hood Spurgeon (@HoodSpurgeon)
When you visit a church with expository preaching. pic.twitter.com/iv00Eoxf4u
— HOOD SPURGEON (@hoodspurgeon) June 16, 2015
When you hear someone talking about Jesus pic.twitter.com/1zmocizqEt
— HOOD SPURGEON (@hoodspurgeon) June 25, 2015
11. Back Row Believer (@BackRowOnline)
New Bible-Quoting Rule #1: You can't quote Matthew 7:1 (Judge not…) without quoting the entire chapter.
— Back Row Baptist (@BackRowBaptist) June 29, 2015
So, the choir can wear robes to church but I can't wear my Snuggie?
— Back Row Baptist (@BackRowBaptist) July 19, 2015
Apparently, Miracle Whip is just a condiment and doesn't heal blindness or diseases.
— Back Row Baptist (@BackRowBaptist) July 14, 2015
12. Anonymous Baptist (@AnonBaptist)
Thanks to a misprint, our Catholic friends might enjoy coming to our Vatican Bible School, next Monday – Friday.
— Anonymous Baptist (@anonbaptist) June 25, 2015
If church gets you riled up against gays, the ACLU, or democrats but leaves you ambivalent about Satan, you might be in the wrong church.
— Anonymous Baptist (@anonbaptist) May 31, 2015
Adults, just because you fit in with teenagers doesn't mean you're called to youth ministry. It could just mean you're immature.
— Anonymous Baptist (@anonbaptist) March 8, 2015
13. Rev. No Respect (@RevNoRespect)
I don't worry about being overweight. I'm perfect just how the lard made me.
— Unappreciated Pastor (@Rev_Norespect) June 27, 2015
There's gonna be a lot of surprised people when they get to heaven and the only thing trending is Jesus.
— Unappreciated Pastor (@Rev_Norespect) July 15, 2015
When he said "How's it feel to work one day a week?" I should've said "How's it feel to worship one day a week?"
— Unappreciated Pastor (@Rev_Norespect) July 16, 2015
14. St. AugOsteen (@StAugOsteen)
This, then, was the situation: the whole mass of the human race stood condemned, lying ruined and wallowing in evil.
Be encouraged today.
— St. AugOsteen (@StAugOsteen) June 25, 2015
Every morning, declare, “Something good is going to happen to me today.”
Every inordinate affection should bring its own punishment.
— St. AugOsteen (@StAugOsteen) July 21, 2015
Thus it was that the human race was bound in a just doom and all men were children of wrath.
It’s easy to get discouraged.
— St. AugOsteen (@StAugOsteen) June 30, 2015
15. Coolvinism (@Coolvinism)
Ever hear a parent yell at a tee ball game, "It's ok, you're a winner!" But inside you're like, "No, Jimmy, you're totally depraved."
— Coolvinism (@coolvinism) June 3, 2015
If you don't recognize your Bible without an Instagram filter, you're doing it wrong.
— Coolvinism (@coolvinism) July 3, 2015
Did you know pirates are serious about their theology?
They're Arrrrminians.
— Coolvinism (@coolvinism) July 11, 2015
Honorable Mention and the New Comer Award: @PastorBill15
Humbled and honored to be featured by @Leadership_Jnl as a godly example of pastoral social media presence. #blessed http://t.co/83iNWXNdTj
— Pastor Bill (@PastorBill15) July 14, 2015
Hit the 50 follower mark in less than a week. Can't believe the ways God has blessed my #socialmedia ministry. #solideogloria
— Pastor Bill (@PastorBill15) July 17, 2015
The number of Twitter followers I have has doubled today. My ministry is being observed by a great cloud of witnesses. #scripture
— Pastor Bill (@PastorBill15) July 14, 2015
15 of the Funniest Christian Parody Twitter Accounts to Follow
Click To Tweet
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I have discovered the Sixth Love Language!
Stop the presses.
Sound the trumpets.
Call Dr. Gary Chapman (or at least tweet him).
Pause Netflix.
I have discovered the Sixth Love Language!
—
Let me start off by saying it’s not what you’re thinking.
It has nothing to do with frisbees, a new Apple device, or even funny cat videos (although, that might be a good pick for #7).
It’s food.
Food is the ultimate love language because it is actually a fusion of the original five love languages—but more pleasing to your taste buds:
- Food can be a gift
- Cooking can be an act of service
- Sharing food with others can be quality time together
- Hugging or kissing the cook shows physical touch
- Words of affirmation might sound like “Yummmm…” (Or depending on your culture, a belch. I guess that would be “sounds” of affirmation, but I digress.)
If you think I’m crazy, the fact that food is a love language is actually biblical???
In Genesis, Joseph lovingly provided food for his brothers during a famine when he might have taken revenge. Jethro invited Moses over for dinner after rescuing his daughters. In 1 Samuel 25, Abigail won David’s heart after preparing a feast for him and his men. Jesus fed the five thousand—you get the picture.
The beautiful thing is that even with this sixth love language, our God outdoes himself to show us love. Here are four examples:
1. He has created a wide array of amazing foods we can enjoy and thank Him for (1 Timothy 4:4-5).
2. He gives us His Word—which sustains and nourishes us more than bread (Matthew 4:4) and tastes sweeter than honey (Psalm 19:10).
3. He gives us His Spirit—the living water that flows out of our hearts guiding us into truth and giving us joy in Him as we experience His love (John 7:38-39).
4. He gives us Jesus—the Bread of Life Who will truly satisfy all of the hungers and thirsts of our soul (John 6:41-51) and will invite us to celebrate His love in the marriage supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:9), which will have food so good and fellowship so rich that we can’t even comprehend it.
—
In some ways, this post is very silly—but in other ways it shares a profound truth:
God shows His immeasurable love to us in many ways.
Let that be food for thought.
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The OFFICIAL Bingo Card for The Briefing with Albert Mohler
Why choose between news and events from a Christian worldview and the world’s most intense game of chance?
In honor of the next season of Albert Mohler’s daily podcast The Briefing: A Daily Analysis of News and Events from a Christian Worldview, I have thrown together the official (OK not really) Bingo Card for fans of The Briefing.
Instead of merely listening while at the gym, in the car, or at home, you can now slam pennies down on your favorite Al-Mohlerisms like “that is a statement that simply needs to be unpacked” or “theology matters.” Grab your smartphone and your favorite bingo chips for an enlightening and challenging time.
In all seriousness, I love this podcast and have many thanks to offer to Dr. Mohler for helping me think deeply about our world through a biblical lens. I follow Christ more faithfully thanks to Dr. Mohler’s influence and hope to listen to many more seasons of The Briefing.
Update:
I am retroactively adding making Albert Mohler’s day to my bucket list. 
You made my day, Kevin. Reminds me of the time Winston Churchill, made in the image of God, realized that theology matters in a Gen. 3 world kind of worldview & wanted to visit Florida in order oppose abortion & euthanasia and affirm subsidiarity & religious liberty.
— Albert Mohler (@albertmohler) January 2, 2018
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The Best Funny Christian Pick Up Lines
For those people who have more Biblical knowledge than skills in attracting the opposite sex, these funny Christian pick up lines should help you break the ice and maybe get a side-hug at your Bible study, youth group, or Christian college campus.
#ChristianPickupLines pic.twitter.com/IjL5PxyY
— Kevin Halloran (@kp_halloran) December 22, 2012
Which is your favorite? Which ones did I miss? Leave a comment!
Subscribe to my blog on the top right of this page for Christian humor, biblical encouragement, resources, book recommendations, and more.
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